I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
