shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
