Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
