Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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