that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
