So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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