i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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