My Higher Power is John Stamos
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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