sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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