we have officially lost it.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
