You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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