Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
