Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
