We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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