Buhtt sex?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
