is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
