When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
