I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
