New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize