The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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