hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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