She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You're like the curious george of whores
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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