My first STD was from a foam party
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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