Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
