then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
