were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
