she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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