im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
