Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She needs sedatives and a leash
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
