I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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