Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
