All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
