You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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