If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I checked into jail on foursquare
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
