evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
