It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
