Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
