there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
