he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
