This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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