His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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