so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
