I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
