She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she pinky promised me she was 18
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
