Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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