the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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