Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize