We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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