i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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