Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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