soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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