Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
